“The Float that Floated Away”

“The Float That Floated Away”.

It was December 1988 in a snowy little Oakville, in Ontario, Canada. The annual Christmas parade was in full swing: marching bands blaring “Jingle Bells,” elves tossing candy canes, and the Boy Scouts’ float—a massive plywood sleigh pulled by a pickup truck disguised as reindeer—gliding down Lakeshore like Santa’s own ride.

Little Jonathan Siemko, age 7, was one of the Scouts perched proudly on the float, dressed as a pint-sized elf with a pointy hat that kept slipping over his eyes. His dad, Bob, had promised to scoop him up right after the parade ended at the town hall. “I’ll be there with hot cocoa, buddy—no sweat!” Dennis had said, waving from the curb.

But as the float chugged along, disaster struck most innocently. Jonathan, distracted by a flock of kids waving from the sidewalk, leaned over to toss a handful of fake snow (aka shredded paper). Whoops—his elf boot caught on a loose rope, and in a puff of glitter, he tumbled right off the back of the float… straight into a snowbank!

The parade didn’t stop. The Scouts didn’t notice (they were too busy singing off-key). The float kept rolling, leaving Jonathan who was buried up to his neck in fluffy white stuff, blinking in confusion. “Uh… Dad?”

Meanwhile, Dennis was circling the town hall parking lot in his red Honda, muttering under his breath. “Where the heck is that float? Traffic’s a nightmare!” He honked at a guy in a Santa suit blocking the road, circled again, and finally gave up. “Kid’s probably already home with his mom. I’ll swing by later.”

Back at the Siemko house, Gail (Jonathan’s mom) was elbow-deep in cookie dough, humming along to Whitney Houston on the radio. The phone rang. She wiped her hands on her apron and picked up.

“Hello?”

“Hi, Mrs. Siemko? This is Troop Leader Dave from the Boy Scouts. Quick question—has Jonathan made it home yet?”

Gail froze, dough dripping from her fingers. “Home? He should be with the parade! Dennis was picking him up!”

A long pause. “Uh… ma’am, the float just pulled in. All the kids are here… except Jonathan. We thought maybe he hopped off early with his dad?”

Gail’s eyes widened like saucers. “HE’S MISSING? FROM A FLOAT? IN THE PARADE?” Gail’s voice hit Mariah Carey’s high notes. She dropped the phone (literally—it clattered to the floor) and started hyperventilating. Visions of Jonathan lost in the snowy wilderness, befriending reindeer, or worse—hitchhiking with carolers—flooded her mind.

Dave on the other end: “Ma’am? Ma’am! Stay calm! We’ll send a search party!”

Cut to hilarity ensuing: Gail bolts out the door in her flour-dusted apron, yelling for neighbours. “MY BABY’S LOST ON A CHRISTMAS FLOAT!” The whole block mobilizes—Katie Kenzel from next door grabs her binoculars, and Mr. Patel revs his snowblower like a tank. Dennis finally shows up, clueless: “What’s all the commotion? Timmy’s probably—”

“PROBABLY WHAT, BOB? ABDUCTED BY ELVES?”

Meanwhile, back at the snowbank… Dennis had dusted himself off, giggling at his own clumsiness. He trudged the two blocks home, boots crunching, arriving just as the search posse assembled on the lawn.

“Mom? Dad? Why’s everyone yelling? I fell off the float, but I walked home. It was fun—like an adventure!”

Gail scoops him up in a bear hug, tears mixing with laughter. “You… you little elf! I thought you were parade roadkill!”

Dennis scratches his head: “I drove around for 20 minutes looking for a float that was already done.”

The Scouts call back: “False alarm, folks! Kid’s a trooper.”

That night, over hot cocoa (extra marshmallows for the survivor), the family, including the baby brother, Addison, retells the story with belly laughs. Jonathan gets a badge for “Independent Navigation.” And from then on, every Christmas, they reenact the “Float Fiasco”—complete with Gail’s dramatic phone-drop impression.

Mixed emotions? Unbelief that a simple pickup turned into a town-wide panic. Hilarity? The image of a tiny elf self-rescuing while adults lose their minds. Classic 1989. This is a true story that wasn’t funny at the time, however; all these years have passed and now I can comfortably chuckle.🎄😂 

Merry Christmas to everyone of my friends and family.